Is there really such a thing as positive conflict?

Last week I proposed that conflict has a vital place in the process of improving conditions within human relationships and within organizations and sometimes progress is simply not made without using conflict to bring an issue to everyone’s attention. Beginning with this article, we are going to see “positive” conflict in action in Acts chapter 15 as we learn conflict management and resolution lessons from the Bible.

One of the biggest sources of conflict in the early church revolved around the treatment of non-Jewish converts to the Christian faith. Jesus had indicated the church would be inclusive of all people and the Holy Spirit through Peter ushered non-Jews into the church in Acts 10 with a miraculous sign. However, even after the church began accepting believers from non-Jewish backgrounds into the faith, there was disagreement about whether these new converts had to obey the strict requirements of the Old Testament Law of Moses. Even the leaders of the church were not in agreement on the matter. The issue became so divisive that the unity that Jesus prayed for in John 17 was seriously endangered and the potential of the entire church was threatened.  In an effort to manage and resolve the conflict, a church council was called to consider the issue.

As you read the following passage, notice the way everyone was greeted and welcomed in Jerusalem prior to the council meeting.  Remember that positive conflict always assumes that everyone in the organization is seeking the best interest of the organization (and hopefully each other) even though there is a source of disagreement.  It is clear that there was a sense of unity around finding a solution to this huge source of disagreement within the church.  This willingness to work honestly toward a solution is the foundation of a healthy conflict management process.

But some men came down from Judea and were teaching the brothers, “Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.”  And after Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and debate with them, Paul and Barnabas and some of the others were appointed to go up to Jerusalem to the apostles and the elders about this question.  So, being sent on their way by the church, they passed through both Phoenicia and Samaria, describing in detail the conversion of the Gentiles, and brought great joy to all the brothers.  When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church and the apostles and the elders, and they declared all that God had done with them.  But some believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees rose up and said, “It is necessary to circumcise them and to order them to keep the law of Moses.” The apostles and the elders were gathered together to consider this matter.  And after there had been much debate, Peter stood up…   Acts 15:1-7a

Notice how Luke uses the words “dissension and debate” to describe the conflict within the church.  Even after the council came together to discuss the matter, there was conflict among the council members as clearly indicated in verse 7.  This passage contains the first conflict management lesson for us – when a problem exists within an organization that threatens to retard the progress or limit the potential of the organization, the leadership must provide a venue and create a forum for the problem to be discussed and debated.

In my experience, this is where the conflict management process usually breaks down – before the process can even begin.  Many people are inherently conflict-averse and “dissension and debate” just feels wrong to them.  Hopefully you don’t get a thrill out of dissension and debate, but even for the conflict-averse, there is a time and place for healthy debate though it may feel awkward or stressful.

Notice in the passage that a special meeting was convened to consider the matter.  It is a leader’s responsibility to provide a venue and create a forum for discussion and debate and to work to ensure everyone with a stake in the matter (including the conflict-averse) has a place at the table.  It is also very important when dealing with a potentially divisive issue that the issue be the sole agenda item for the meeting.  These issue deserves to be center stage in a discussion and not “tucked in” to the agenda with other matters.  During the meeting, every participant should have an opportunity to present their views on the issue and everyone should be encouraged to debate with passion and enthusiasm.

It is clear from this passage that those present in the council meeting passionately lobbied for their position and presented arguments supporting their view.  It is possible that passions rose to the point that it started to get personal.  It is a natural tendency for emotions to begin to get out of control in a passionate debate and this is where leaders in the organization must help reign in the passion level and remind everyone to avoid getting personal.  Ideas and positions are to be debated without destructive personal attacks.

Once a venue is provided and a forum for open and honest discussion and debate is created, then the work of conflict resolution can begin.  The forum is a vital starting point, but it is just the starting point.  The debate is the critical ingredient that really creates the opportunity for resolution.

In this example, we have already discussed two responsibilities of organizational leadership in managing conflict – creating a venue and a forum for discussion and debate of just the one issue and moderating the debate when passions start to boil over.  Next week, we will consider a couple of other things a leader should and should not do in the process of managing conflict through debate.

Until next week,

Meet me at the intersection!

Copyright © 2012 Michael Willoughby. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to author and/or owner with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Is conflict always bad?

I have to admit it usually feels bad to be in conflict with another person especially for those who are naturally conflict-averse.  However, I have enough experience to know that conflict has a vital place in the process of improving conditions within human relationships and within organizations. Sometimes progress is simply not made without using conflict to bring an issue to everyone’s attention.  Conflict has a way of bringing much-needed energy and focus to a problem that is preventing a relationship or an entire organization from reaching full potential.  I suppose in a perfect world, conflict would not be an issue since everyone would live in perfect harmony with no differences of opinion or clashes of will.  Needless to say, we don’t live in a perfect world!

It is important to point out that this “positive” type of conflict presupposes that those involved are all seeking the best interest of the relationship or the shared organization and simply have differing opinions on how to proceed.  There is plenty of “negative” conflict in the world where two parties are not seeking each other’s best interest or the interests of the organization or relationship.  In these situations, one or more of the parties may actually be seeking to damage or destroy the other individual, the relationship or organization.  Wars between nations and are examples of this type of conflict.  Unfortunately, warfare can sometimes exist in our marriages, families, schools, workplaces and even in our churches.  I’ll have more to say about negative conflict later.  For now, the Apostle Paul instructs each of us in Romans 12:18 to “if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

With regard to positive conflict (as opposed to negative conflict) within an organization, it must be true that everyone involved in the conflict is truly seeking the best interests of the organization (and hopefully each other) and they simply have differing opinions on how to proceed.  If the differing opinions are not reconciled and the conflict goes uncovered and unresolved, the issue can retard the progress of the organization.  I have seen a lot of interesting attempts to “work around” or simply ignore sources of conflict in organizations and in almost every circumstance, the aversion to dealing with the source of conflict directly brings more harm and disunity to the organization than conflict itself would have created.

The question that starting me thinking about this topic in the first place was, “Is it possible to have conflict in an organization and still enjoy unity, especially the kind of unity Jesus spoke of in John 17?”  As I have thought about this over the past several months beginning with Can’t We All Just Get Along (Part 1), I have come to the conclusion that in the real world it may not be possible to enjoy true unity without conflict.  As odd or even controversial as that may sound, I point to the first century church as proof.  Jesus prayed for them to enjoy the same “oneness” that exists between Jesus and God within the Trinity.  I believe those disciples enjoyed that unity that Jesus prayed for and yet they also dealt with significant conflict within the church.  Without that conflict I don’t believe they would have enjoyed unity and I don’t think the church would have impacted the world as it has done.

One of the biggest sources of conflict in the early church revolved around the treatment of non-Jewish converts to the Christian faith.  Jesus had indicated the church would be inclusive of all people and the Holy Spirit through Peter ushered non-Jews into the church in Acts 10 with a miraculous sign.  However, even after the church began accepting believers from non-Jewish backgrounds into the faith, there was disagreement about whether these new converts had to obey the strict requirements of the Old Testament Law of Moses.  Even the leaders of the church were not in agreement on the matter.  At one point as recorded in Galatians 2, Paul had a sharp disagreement with Peter on the subject and essentially called Peter out for his hypocritical behavior at the church in Antioch.  The issue became so divisive that a church council was called to settle the issue.  This is recorded in Acts 15 in what I call the great conflict resolution chapter of the New Testament.

Beginning in the next article, we are going to dig into Acts 15 and learn the conflict management and resolution lessons included in that chapter.  Until then, join me in the commitment to be more sensitive to the sources of disagreement and conflict in our relationships.  Let’s measure the positions that we take and the opinions that we hold against the best interest of the organizations we belong to, the best interest of our relationships and the best interests of one another.  If disagreement exists and everyone is seeking after the common good, let’s learn together how to bring that disagreement into positive conflict in order to reconcile and resolve the disagreement.  As always, the Bible has the answers.

Until next week,

Meet me at the intersection!

Copyright © 2012 Michael Willoughby. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to author and/or owner with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

“This very day in King David’s hometown a Savior was born for you. He is Christ the Lord. You will know who he is, because you will find him dressed in baby clothes and lying on a bed of hay.” Suddenly many other angels came down from heaven and joined in praising God. They said: “Praise God in heaven! Peace on earth to everyone who pleases God.”  Luke 2:11-14

Does the picture shatter your expectations of the words, King Size Bed?  Shattering expectations was what our Savior was all about!  From his appearance with us as a human to his shocking death, miraculous resurrection and return to the throne, he defies expectations and convention.  Why did he do it?  He did it for us!

All he asks of us in return is that we follow him and defy expectations and convention in his name.  I hope you enjoy the story as told in the lyrics from How Many Kings by Downhere.  Enjoy the song on YouTube as well!

Merry Christmas!

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe, after all we’ve projected, a child in a manger?
Lowly and small, the weakest of all unlikeliest hero,
Wrapped in his mother’s shawl – Just a child
Is this who we’ve waited for?

’cause…

How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me!

Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior
All that we have, whether costly or meek because we believe.
Gold for his honor, and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he will suffer
Do you believe?
Is this who we’ve waited for?

All for me…
All for you…

How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me!